Trevor Moore: Drunk Texts to Myself – “What About Mouthwash?” – Uncensored


(light acoustic guitar) ♪ Me and Jesse’s cousin ♪ Went to the Chevron after work ♪ To grab a couple sixers ♪ And some beefy jerk ♪ The man behind the counter ♪ He said he’d like to see ID ♪ I handed him one of a guy ♪ Who sort of looked like me ♪ He frowned and asked
me what was my address ♪ I knew the street but I
couldn’t quite get the rest ♪ I said I’d lost my real ID ♪ And that we would
pay him double ♪ We swore that we
weren’t cops and that ♪ He wouldn’t get in trouble ♪ He smiled and said ♪ I’m sorry, but
it’s already 12:04 ♪ And the state says
it’s too late to sell ♪ Alcohol anymore ♪ Sadly we went to
put back the beer ♪ But then a bottle
caught my eye ♪ And I got an idea ♪ What about mouthwash ♪ What about huffin’ paint ♪ You don’t need ID to buy it ♪ And you can’t arrive too late ♪ What about mouthwash ♪ What about smelling glue ♪ If they say you
can’t buy liquor ♪ Then some cough
syrup should do ♪ Before we count this
night up as a loss ♪ What about mouthwash ♪ Sittin’ in the truck
in the parking lot ♪ Underneath the moon
and all them stars ♪ We don’t need
their liquor stores ♪ And we don’t their bars ♪ Drinkin’ Listerine and tonic ♪ And Jesse’s cousin
sipped a Scope and Coke ♪ A Robitussin Redbull ♪ Now that shit ain’t a joke ♪ But something changed
within me at that store ♪ Beer and spirits just
don’t cut it anymore ♪ The whispers that I hear ♪ And the looks
that I keep gettin’ ♪ When I toast with
a Dimetapp daiquiri ♪ At a fancy wedding ♪ And last night a
cop pulled me over ♪ Goin’ down 95 south ♪ And he saw the
Sherman Williams ♪ All over my nose and mouth ♪ He just looked straight at me ♪ With a pity in his eyes ♪ Like he’d just seen
the depths of sadness ♪ That man can’t have inside ♪ And the lengths
to which he’ll go ♪ To numb it down
for another day ♪ He looked as if he’d cry ♪ But then he just walked away ♪ I watched as he drove
off down the interstate ♪ And then I thought to myself ♪ That’s another reason
this stuff’s great ♪ What about mouthwash ♪ What about sniffin’ glue ♪ When the police pull you over ♪ They ain’t sure what to do ♪ What about mouth wash ♪ Or even hand sanitizer ♪ When they check
your glove compartment ♪ They won’t be none the wiser ♪ Before we count this
night up as a loss ♪ Say what about mouthwash ♪ What about mouthwash

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