Eleanor Roosevelt’s Friendship with a Deadly Soviet Sniper (feat. Busy Philipps) – Drunk History

my name is Paget Brewster, and today we’re gonna talk about
Eleanor Roosevelt and the Communist sniper. – Cheers.
Na zdorovie.– Na zdorovie.
– Oh, I spit. Okay.
– [laughs]– Our story begins in 1941.It was the Second World Warand the U.S.
was fighting Japan.
And Russia was fighting
the Nazis.
And Russia is suffering,so Joseph Stalin calls
Franklin Delano Roosevelt,
and he’s like, FDR,
my friend,
can you [bleep] help me out
here please?
I’m getting my ass kicked
here in Russia
by these “Nat-zis” ’cause–– “Nat-zis.” – Not Nancys.– I didn’t say Nancys.
I said “Nat-zis.”
– Nazis, yeah, I misheard you.And Franklin’s like,
it’s not up to me, man.
I understand
what you’re talking about.
It’s a shit show,
but I got Congress.
I got the American people.I can’t help you out right now
because no one supports me,
so Stalin’s like,
oh, [bleep].
Okay, I’ll tell you what.I’m gonna send someone
over there: Pavlichenko.
Huge sniper.Big deal.Highly feared.The greatest sharpshooter in
the history of mankind.
Just meet with my sniper.So in July of 1942,
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
and his wife Eleanor are like,
oh, what’s happening today
in the White House?We always have stuff to do.And Franklin says,
“Oh, Eleanor,“we got to meet
with this sniper.
He’s being sent
from the Red Army,”
and the sniper
is a 25-year-old womannamed Lyudmila Pavlichenko.– Say it again.– [slowly]
Lyudmila Pavlichenko. – Lyudmila– – Pavlichenko. – Buh-luh-jinga. – Pavlichenko. – Pavli-jinka. – Pavlichenko! – Pavlichenko. – I really like you. We’re friends. What? – I’m just letting you finish,
as a gentleman. – You are a gentleman,
but with just the right amount of a bastard. [both laughing] Shit. Oh, no, I’m drunk.So she says to them,
“There is no color line.
“There is no male-female
segregation in the Red Army.
“We are a nation of peoplewho want to defend
our motherland,”
and Eleanor, who is a feminist
and a human rights advocate–[bleep] badass–
takes Franklin aside and says,
“This girl–this tomboy,
“genius killer,“I can take her on the road
and she will get us
enough American support
to go after the Nazis.”
President Franklin Roosevelt
was like, okay,
if you think that can happen,
go for it.
So they get on a train,
and they’re traveling
across the U.S.,
and the American press
starts hearing about
a girl sniper sent from Russia.She does town hall meetings.She meets with
the local press.
But all they want to know
is why don’t you wear blush?
Are you allowed to wear
makeup on the front lines?
And then a journalist tells
her, your uniform,the skirt’s too long.It’s drab.You look fat.And she’s like, what the [bleep]
are they f–I’m crawling
through the mud with a…
[dogs barking]Coyotes! The coyote’s eating
the neighbor’s cat. Well, we got to wait this out,
So–it’s not funny. It’s a serious thing.They finally get to Chicago
halfway through their journey,
and backstage,
Eleanor Roosevelt
is Burgess Meredith
from “Rocky.”
She’s just massaging
her shoulders
and saying, “Come on,
you can do this.
“I know they’re asking
stupid questions.
“They’re silly questions.
Don’t worry about it.
“You can make it through.“I need you to talk
to the American public
“the way you’ve talked to meand shame America
into joining the second front.”
So Lyudmila walks out
on a Chicago stage
and says,“Gentlemen,
I am but 25 years old,
“and I have killed“309 Fascist occupants
in my country.
“This uniform I wear,
that you say is ugly,
“that you say
makes me look fat,
“this uniform has dirt on it“and the blood of my enemies
on it,
“and I wear it with pride.“Don’t you think you’ve been
hiding behind my back
for too long?”And the crowd goes
batshit bananas, clapping,
and Eleanor,
she’s backstage like,
yeah, Lyudmila!I love it!Go, girl![triumphant music]But–
[groans] Jesus. I got to burp. My stomach’s making noise. I’m trying to talk about WWII. It’s too much.♪ ♪– Okay, so Eleanor Roosevelt
and Lyudmila Pavlichenko
are going from town to town,
and she’s no longer a curiosity
or an oddity.She’s, like,
this impressive folk hero.She’s an amazing woman,who was so young,doing the work of dozens of men
at 25 years old.
When I was 25, I think
I plucked off all my eyebrows and dressed like Prince. – [laughs] – Anyway, 15 yeas later, we are
in a Cold War with Russia.Eleanor is in Moscow
and has a political minder
that says, “You can’t really
talk to anyone about anything.
“You’re gonna eat
some sablefish.
“You’re gonna drink some vodka.“You’re gonna wear a furry hat
showing that it’s not that bad
“between Russia and America.That’s your job, lady.”And she’s like, uh…no.I’m Eleanor goddamn Roosevelt,and I’m gonna go and see
my [bleep] pal.
This emissary takes
Eleanor Roosevelt to Lyudmila Pavlichenko’s house.This woman was a national hero,
but she’s living
in this tiny
two-room apartment,and Lyudmila opens the door.Hello, Lyudmila.Hello, Mrs. Roosevelt.Like, Eleanor and Lyudmila
are sitting formallywith the Russian minder,
and at a certain point,
Lyudmila makes an excuse
and says, “Oh, oh, oh.
“Sorry, sorry.
Have to leave,”
and finds a way
to take Eleanor away
from the Russian minder,
and she’s half-laughing,
half-crying, and she’s hugging
Eleanor and saying,“Oh, my friend, it’s so good to
see you after all these years.”
[chuckles]“And think about all
the friends we met
on our trip across the U.S.,”and Eleanor’s so happy
to talk to her, just saying, “Oh, Lyudmila, we did have
a great time, didn’t we?” And these two incredibly
powerful, smart womensaved millions of lives by
engendering the American public
into joining the war effort,and it was such
an important part of history, but it’s just two women happy
to see each other and saying,“Do you remember that time
we went to Chicago?”
Shit.[groans]God damn it.I think it’s really touching.[triumphant music]Cheers. [chuckles]♪ ♪Sorry.
– Don’t talk. Oh, you got to do it again. You talked. – What?

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