I once got so drunk,
I whipped out my laptop, thought, what the hell, and ordered myself
a Latin phrase book. LAUGHTER Lee’s team. What, sort of, but a Latin phrase book feels like
quite an unusual thing. When would you use a Latin phrase? It’s actually, strictly,
it’s called a Latin primer. Oh… But it is a book of Latin phrases
and Latin grammar. But nothing had happened
in the previous years where this was a problem?
You were fine without your Latin. Well, I had, you know, a very
awkward dinner with a centurion, but, you know… LAUGHTER ..er, no, no, it wasn’t like, yeah,
I hadn’t particularly felt that gap, but I was just sort of… Give us some of your
favourite Latin phrases. I, I can’t, I can’t… You must know one or two,
a man of your learning. Veni, vidi, vici. Oh… What does
that… Or weni, widi, wici… Yes. ..depending
on how you pronounce it. What does it mean?
I came, I saw… I conquered. Quod erat demonstrandum.
What I have just demonstrated. Yeah, I went to a comprehensive,
I know all of these phrases, David. LAUGHTER Was there any modern,
practical phrases, like “Where is the station?” No, and if you think about it,
you’ll know why. LAUGHTER How did you get on with Latin
when you were at school? No, we didn’t do Latin, no. You’d need a primer, wouldn’t you?
You’d need a phrase book… Yeah, we had loads of that
in the shed, but… LAUGHTER Tom, what are you thinking? The idea of buying a textbook for a language
that is no longer spoken, er, for somebody who works
in an environment where that language isn’t used, erm, which was taught to him at school
several years ago that he had to get
drunk to buy is exactly the sort of thing that
David Mitchell would do. LAUGHTER So true, that’s true. You’re going to say it’s true. Lee? Definitely. You think it’s true?
They all think it’s true. Oh, it’s true. Right, David. Yeah. Of course it’s true. Oh! APPLAUSE Yes, it’s true. David did drunkenly order himself
a Latin phrase book.